Karnac the Magnificent

[c18tZa33]

Hey guys. Knowing how many "Johnny Carson" fans reside on this newsgroup, I
thought I'd start a thread of "Karnac the Magnificent" jokes to provide some
needed levity in here. Please feel free to add your own. I'll start...

Carson as Karnac (holding the envelope up to his head while closing his
eyes): Universal Studios and Harvy Gwelg!

Ed McMahon: Universal Studios and Harvy Gwelg!

Carson (looking annoyingly at McMahon): That's what I said.

Carson (opens the envelope): Name two things who said they never made a
dime from "The Rockford Files".

McMahon: Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho! Hiyooowwww!

[Tony DeAngelo]

Rita Capkovic, Rocky's kettle grill, and Lauren Ingeborg




Name a hooker, a cooker and a looker.

Post by c18tZa33
Hey guys. Knowing how many "Johnny Carson" fans reside on this newsgroup, I
thought I'd start a thread of "Karnac the Magnificent" jokes to provide some
needed levity in here. Please feel free to add your own. I'll start...
Carson as Karnac (holding the envelope up to his head while closing his
eyes): Universal Studios and Harvy Gwelg!
Ed McMahon: Universal Studios and Harvy Gwelg!
Carson (looking annoyingly at McMahon): That's what I said.
Carson (opens the envelope): Name two things who said they never made a
dime from "The Rockford Files".
McMahon: Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho! Hiyooowwww!

[RNeill]

Post by c18tZa33

Post by c18tZa33
Knowing how many "Johnny Carson" fans reside on this

newsgroup, I

Post by c18tZa33
thought I'd start a thread of "Karnac the Magnificent" jokes to provide some
needed levity in here

Post by c18tZa33
Rita Capkovic, Rocky's kettle grill, and Lauren Ingeborg
Name a hooker, a cooker and a looker.

LJ's profession, the Coupla Guys from Jersey, James Garner's Refusal to
Make More Rockford Files.

plumber, dumber, bummer

[c18tZa33]

Post by RNeill
LJ's profession, the Coupla Guys from Jersey, James Garner's Refusal to

Make More Rockford Files.

Post by RNeill
plumber, dumber, bummer

And a "Hiyyyyooowwww!" to this one as well. Good job, RN!

[RNeill]

Lianne Sweeney, Whitney Cox and the Boy King

A nut, a slut and a Tut

[AlbertClarkson]

Lude, Lindsay Wagner and Mike Post

A goon, a swoon and a tune.

[AlbertClarkson]

Lauren Bacall, Sheik Talib, and Nancy Wade.

Glitz, ritz and ditz.

[RNeill]

Jerry Douglas, Mac Amodeus, Richie Brockelman



Name a pimp, a blimp and a shrimp.

[RNeill]

More Karnak Answers and Questions



"A Good Clean Bust"



What does Dolly Parton have after she's taken a shower?

===============================

"Just By Accident"



How did Universal's bookkeeping department finally send James Garner an
accurate account of how much money The Rockford Files was making?

======================================

"The Return of the Black Shadow"



What do children who have stayed at the Neverland Ranch fear in their
bedrooms at night?

========================================

"Charlie Martell, Angel Martin and Warren Weeks"



What do you get when you order the meatloaf, halibut and turkey special?

[c18tZa33]

Post by Tony DeAngelo
Rita Capkovic, Rocky's kettle grill, and Lauren Ingeborg
Name a hooker, a cooker and a looker.

(In my best Ed McMahon voice): Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho!

[AlbertClarkson]

Miles Keeley, Sky Aquarin and William Smith.

Name a grifter, a drifter and a lifter.

THE RETURN OF ART FERN

We have a great matinee for all you film fans, sponsored by Settee City,
located just off Route 95 after you exit 496 South and turn onto North
Vine prior to the San Diego Freeway East Exit intersecting 17th Avenue in
the vicinity of The Hollywood Bowl.

It's a taut thriller starring Marty Frishette, Vince Mintte, Joseph
Manett, Vito Ginoso, Dal Kane, Liza Minelli and Ashram the Space Cat, in
"Soil Additive: The Freddie Beamer Story."

[c18tZa33]

James Whitmore Jr., Angel Martin, and Skye Aquarius.


Name a Beamer, a Schemer, and a Dreamer!

[Mike Tschel.]

Post by c18tZa33
James Whitmore Jr., Angel Martin, and Skye Aquarius.
Name a Beamer, a Schemer, and a Dreamer!

Hi-Oh!

Great stuff guys. Man, I really miss Johnny.

Mike T.

[Ed Robertson]

Monty, Christina, and James Garner.

Name a Stickles, a Pickles, and the man who played Nichols.

[c18tZa33]

Carson as Karnac: Ladies and Gentlemen, I now hold in my hand the final
envelope.

Audience: Yeah!! Woo Hoo!! Allright!! Applause!!

Carson as Karnac: May a rabid doberman find his way into your jockey
shorts.

Ed McMahon: Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho!

Carson as Karnac: July, Eric Clapton, and Monica Lewinsky.

Ed McMahon: July, Eric Clapton, and Monica Lewinsky.

Carson (looking annoyingly at McMahon): That's what I said.

Carson (looks back at the envelope and opens it):

Name a month in summer, a strummer, and a gal who gives one hell of a
hummer!!

McMahon: HI-YYYOOOWWW!!!

[AlbertClarkson]

"c18tZa33" writes: "...thought I'd start a thread of 'Karnac the
Magnificent" jokes...."

Good thread!

[c18tZa33]

Post by AlbertClarkson
"c18tZa33" writes: "...thought I'd start a thread of 'Karnac the

Magnificent" jokes...."

Post by AlbertClarkson
Good thread!

Thanks Albert!

[Are you kidding]

Post by AlbertClarkson
"c18tZa33" writes: "...thought I'd start a thread of 'Karnac the
Magnificent" jokes...."
Good thread!

Indeed, a very entertaining thread.